It was the same company. It was a different company. It was a familiar place. It was a new place. Nothing had changed. Everything had changed.

The Work had Changed

On paper, I am now an employee of NerdWallet and live in San Francisco. That had all happened before, from September to December of 2016 I had done the same thing.

Except this time it was different. Having recently graduated from the University of Waterloo, I am now a full-time employee of the company. I’ve migrated from the J1 training visa to a full-fledged TN visa and I have the passport stamp to prove it.

Into my lap falls the duties of a full-time employee, a set of social, technical and managerial responsibilities that I have only grappled with from the lens of an intern. As an intern, when I did my job as competently as any other employee, there was a sense of pride from myself and recognition from my team. As a full-timer, that’s the new expectation.

Forget intern projects, unknown expectations, and that I can’t believe it’s not a real employee pat on the back. Things are real now. Failure isn’t a below average internship assessment, it’s unemployment.

The company itself had changed, NerdWallet has restructured, both in terms of its direction as a company and its physical location, which is now at 10th and Market instead of 5th. The goals of the company will have changed from last I was there and I have plenty of catching up to do.

The Home had Changed

Back to San Francisco! My previous home down in temperate California where I had escaped the Ontario winter. While my ZIP code is about the same, my personal life is completely different. Last Fall I had lived with my fellow co-ops and Waterloo roommates in Height Ashbury.

This time I did not have a place lined up for the day I arrived, and am instead staying at an Airbnb in the short-term while I find a place.

My former roommates and I are no longer close. There are many reasons for why that is and lots of them are because of mistakes I have made.

All of this means that I am house searching, which for me means looking at small and affordable co-living spaces. I want to save money while I am here and meet new people. I recently interviewed for a spot at a tech focused co-living accommodation. I’ve interviewed for jobs and school before, but never for where I was going to live.

I didn’t know I was being assessed going in; I had toured to a similar co-living space earlier in the day but it didn’t have the entrepeneurial and tech focus that this one did. Walking out of there I felt like I had been weighed and measured and that I was found wanting.

I have to Change

Smart and driven tech entrepeneurs are everywhere in San Francisco and I have chosen to compete for their residences as well as their jobs. The past couple of months I had not developed professionaly very much. I had spent time with my family, traveled to Europe with friends, and played games with my brother.

I thought about staying with my friends and family back home, but in the end I chose to come here and while I’m here I cannot remain stagnant. I need to work hard to become better at my job, at being an adult and at being a positive influence on the community.

Among other things, I know that I need to be better at the following:

• Directions: I am not good at knowing where I am and often make mistakes along easy driving routes.
• Meeting People: I’ve been content with family and some friends, but for professional and personal reasons, I want to widen this circle. Especially now that I am in a new city with very few people I know.
• Helping Others: I am very grateful for the help and opportunities I’ve been given, but I need to demonstrate those feelings by helping others in a tangible way. I want to be a good person and I can only get there by bringing good to other people’s lives.
• Learning: I like the things I know, but I know I can get too content knowing only them. Learning new things can be daunting and the feeling of not understanding something that you want to or think you should can be stressful. I need to more frequently expand my knowledge through reading, discussion with peers, and self-assessment.
• Non-Programming: My professional and academic focus has limited the scope of the skills that I have developed in my early adult life too narrowly. I want to become better at things like cooking and general handiness and pursue hobbies like languages and music.

I chose to make these large changes to my life and follow up on a new opportunity in an unfamiliar place with different people. I need to make sure that I change along with them and change for the better. Here it goes!